Nutz

My homelife is nuts. Stark raving nuts!

Last night my wife needed to use one of our two and a half baths. We have two full bathrooms on the second floor of our home and she started in her attempts to answer nature’s call with the first of them. The bathroom she initially tried to use was occupied by my oldest child, Primus. Primus is now 13. Once he is in our washroom he is in there for a goodly long time. It has always been that way and so she knew there was no point to waiting.

Trying to respond to her body’s urgent pleas she then proceeded down the hall to the other full bathroom. A towel was draped over the top of the door. It was a penant standing as a reminder of someone’s prior shower or bath or whatever. (With two boys in this house there can never be enough showers to wash off that hockey/school yard athlete scent. As a result of the terry cloth decoration the door would not fully closed.

Despite the un-sealable door bathroom number two was occupied. Enthroned therein was my second child, let us call him Secundus. Lad two heard my wife pitter-patterning down the hallway, she having been rebuffed at her primary choice of facilities. Secundus was significantly enough engaged in the use of this next potential rest stop that he had no plans on freeing the room up. Apparently wishing to maintain some privacy, he pulled tightly on the door.

Approaching the door my now fleet of foot wife saw the light emitting from the bathroom change. Lumens disappeared from the dark hallway that runs from one bathroom to the other. The narrowing of the light was due to a drawing of the door a little more inward. The occupant seemed to be trying to convey an actually closed state. The wife thus had an awareness loo two was also committed to use.

Thinking she would have a little fun at Secundus’ expense she lightly tried to push/pull the door. Secundus in a slightly higher slightly more excited than usual voice barked out an inquiry as to what my wife was doing.

My wife, the loving mother that she is, in response to this apparently urgent inquiry said she was looking for an open bathroom to use. She followed up by commenting that she sensing that Secundus might be in there decided to tease him just a little by jiggling the door if only just a little bit. Secundus (never one who wants to be bested in humor) at that point kicked or threw the door wide open exposing himself ensconced on the throne and declared in his deepest voice, “Well take a good look so you can assure yourself this bathroom is occupied.”

My wife almost wet herself as she began laughing hysterically.

My house is nuts, my sons are nuts, my wife eh that is open to question. C’est la vie.