Sunday, March 5, 2017

And Then we Left Chad's Party and We Were All Over Each Other LikeMating Mountain Lions in the Back of Sara's Car

Some people go to the gym.  Some people go ride their bikes. Other people go to the Y and do laps in the pool.  We all should be doing something to make sure our bodies are staying at some basic level of functionality.  I walk.

When I walk, I see the pieces of other people’s lives that have been cast off in the bushes.  I have found DVDs buried in the ground as if they had been thrown there most likely from a car.  I assume that because they have been buried deep like ninja stars.  I have found tons of cans of energy drinks that have been cast aside.  My guess from what I have seen is that the American population is about the most energized in the whole wide freakin’ world.

This morning I came upon this tableau.  My only guess is that somewhere there are a hungover pair of college juniors telling two other someones a story about what an awesome (or regret filled) night those late hours of Saturday evening was.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Just Another Day

Friday evening has come. Air here is still relatively warm. Our grey sky is very moisture laden. Tonight we are under a series of severe weather  watches. Because of how warm it has been a potential exists 
for tornadoes as this cold front pushes through . 

Every place has its demons, every place has its monsters. If I lived on the East Coast there would be Noreasters  and hurricanes. Here along the Canadian border the threat is always blizzard, and sometimes tornados.

I spent today working on a long and convoluted order. As it stands it looks like I will be stripping an automobile repair shop of it's license. I have had to go back and listen to the vast majority of the hearing for a second time. When you're dealing with the termination of someone's livelihood you don't want to leave anything to chance. After time passes my eyes get blurry staring at the screen. Still I should be able to get it done over the course of the weekend.

Today had some subtle and unexpected  delights. I had several short text conversations with friends. The cheered me up. Sometimes in a rush to do our work, to cloth and feed our families, to be part of the normal we forget that there are voices we need to listen to. We forget that sometimes we have to reach out to them first. A few quick phrasea here and there can remind someone of a long and shared history.

I took a couple of pictures to capture the nature of this February day. Kids are playing in a brown gray park with no snow to be seen. Old men walk their dogs up and down the streets several times each day. The normal here would have snow 12 inches deep and the temperature would not be 54°. The kids might still be playing but they would be building a snow fort. Time is not this day as time always was.

Last night after promising start I got bogged down in reading up on stoicism The author began following each of various threads the philosophical movement. My guess is that in a bit he'll return to the major elements of the doctrine. I hope so, the start of the book was so promising. In these remaining years I am going to refuse to let my mind idle too much.

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Break out the single malt

There are so many things that are on my mind right now. Some days I'm not sure where I should begin to try and untangle the issues I'm surrounded by. Life is like that sometimes. 

Of the new order well I'm not a fan. Today there were no issues that I felt an absolute need offer any commentary on, post a link about or share a meme regarding. Do not get me wrong, if I see something that seems unjust or unfair or simply wrongheaded I will speak up.

My biggest gripe is with time. Looking at old pictures has made me look at the clock on the wall in this old bar. Hell it is almost closing hour. Better drink up and make sure we pour the good stuff

Good News

I had started a note while I was in the urologist waiting room on my laptop. I was an hour early for my appointment. My thought was that it would give me a little time to do some writing. It was also necessitated by the fact that it didn't cost me anything to get there an hour early because my wife could drop me off on her way to work and I wouldn't have to pay for a cab. To my surprise they called me in for my appointment almost immediately.

Talking to the doctor actually was a pretty positive experience. According to the doctor my chances of prostate cancer return have dropped precipitously now because at the 10 year mark after surgery there is a steep decline in the recurrence rates. That was good news. 

I am dictating this as I'm waiting for my Uber. Apple has  really upped their game on voice recognition software. There is an occasional mistake here and there but for the most part the dictation is close to flawless.

(Time passes)

I took a break from writing because my Uber driver showed up. Riding with the gentleman I found out that his main job is working as an orderly for community mental health. A rather big guy, his job is to subdue patients who are becoming unruly and unmanageable.

 He actually seemed like a relatively gentle spirit. We talked about the medications that are given to control bipolar disorder. We both know that while very effective lithium destroys the liver of the user. I tried to give him a tip and he wouldn't take it.

After I got out I refreshed my coffee at the Biggby here. I got one of my favorite barista's  to pose for a portrait. I'm playing around a lot with the portrait imaging in the Apple camera. It is really a rather nice feature.

I will spend most of the day writing an order on the hearing I help yesterday. It will be very time-consuming and rather emotionally draining. This is my life. This is everyone's life. A little joy a lot of work.

Sunshine daydream

Sometimes a bit of joy comes at you sideways. It is the middle of February and the temperature is near 60° in Michigan. I'm walking outside wearing only my shirt sleeves. Who would ever hit believe this possible, not me.

Trust me I'll take this. The sun had been out earlier and it was delicious to feel it on my face. The sky still has a bright glow put some clouds are moving in. My guess is that this will bring the end of false spring. It's OK we're not supposed to experience unfettered happiness all the time. Without the bitter the sweet would not taste as wonderful as it does.

I could start humming some old tunes and get lost wandering around this afternoon. Still, I have work to do. Despite the glorious nature of the day I will tend to my task. Celebrate the small things, a warm day, a ray of sunshine or a good hearty laugh.

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Day at End

There will come a day,
There will come one singular day,
When the light will be so bright as to blind us.

It will not come with an announcement,
Nor will there be hints or signs or omens,
To be found the intensely bright washed clean air,
When the light will be so bright as to blind us.

You trowel and kneeling pad will lie abandoned,
Amongst the mums and annuals,
The streets will be still,
When the light will be so bright as to blind us.

The distance will not be far, and
The time will not be long, and
The moment will neither surprise nor frighten us,
When the light will be so bright as to blind us.

I had just laid down in the hammock,
My rest well deserved,
The birds sang softly and sweetly
When the light so bright as to blind us came.

Old Love

Let the world be soft, so very soft for a moment, for this moment.
Let the world drift away much as piano notes drift away from a gentle sonata.
Let the world be tender and oh such a light thing suspended in a warm gentle space,
where nothing harsh or cruel or severe creeps into our hours as evening moves from twilight to sleep.

I remember that day as we walked along the edge of the water.
            Was it then our love first came, I don’t remember, do you?
Our feet were bare and our white trousers were rolled and we danced out and back
            Into the lapping of the waves.
I so remember the scent on your neck as I first kissed your mouth and then caressed that space
            Between your supple shoulder and your graceful neckline.
            Was it White Shoulders, I have never been good at these things as you know.
The waves kept coming and soon the bulky cuffs we had hastily created from the rolling of summer cotton wear,
were soaked with salt and sand and the fluid of all life.
I remember your eyes so dark peering into mine as if seeking to see my soul.
I remember the golden sun that was creeping away from us,
            As the first cool breezes of a summer evening came wispy and gentle at our forms standing in an embrace that would be a mark on our lives for the ages.

If I still smoked I would stand outside and cupping a match within my hand I would light my tobacco,
Drawn from a crumpled soft pack found in an interior coat pocket.
Drawing deeply, I would eventually let the smoke escape as I waited for the release that nicotine brings to the brain,
            That calm.
A red ember shinning at the end of a Marlboro or a Kool I would stand alone,
in the dark of this day so many years removed from the edge of the waves, from the August warmth, from the passion of your love.
If I still smoked I would stand outside on this cold winter’s night and stare out among the stars


And then I would go back to the bills, the dishes and the demands of the life my choices created.