We seek good but we find disturbance. We cry for peace but there is none. We trust too much in ourselves really. It is time to let go and trust in the divine. Seek the holy.
Another day will fly by today. Sitting in a suit and tie I will be listening to people tell me stories (some credible, some not believable and most falling in a very murky soup between the two), of redemption from addiction. I will hear man of the same phrases again and again repeated as if they were part of a catechism of recovery. One day at a time, you are only as sick as your secrets, meeting makers make it and a plethora of other maxims will be recited in my general direction.
And then the day will be over.
Another night will then fly by with “events”. Sunday was hockey in metro Detroit, Monday was the school board meeting, Tuesday was my wife’s investment club meeting, tonight will be hockey in Jackson, tomorrow will be psychologist & young men’s choir & a Michigan Tastes dinner, Friday will be hockey and so will Saturday. Sunday will be Thanksgiving at the church. Then the cycle will reset except that there will be a bit of time spent on the road for the feast of dead bird.
It is hard to seek the holy in the endless rush between “stuff”. Still, you have to do it.
Last night at 11 p.m., I stopped the rush and committed to making a Vietnamese noodle soup to serve my family for breakfast. Rice noodles soaked, star anise, cinnamon, beef stock, onion, and ginger boiled. Pork was sliced thin. This variation on Hanoi noodle dish became breakfast today. As it cooked for the hour it took to make last night the house smelled of wonderful oriental neighborhoods in big cities. Taking each step of food preparation in its due time I stepped into the holy. The stock boiled until midnight. As I changed the water in the noodles to continue to allow them to soften I was lost in doing the job right.
I search for good. Sometimes I find it in simple acts for others.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Take a Moment and Exhale
Thursday, November 10, 2011
What must we do to break through the undifferentiated and uninterpretable noises of our modern life?
Merton has said a grand gesture (his example was a Vietnam protester who immolated himself) while riveting becomes contestable in three days and forgotten in ten. I think in 1965 when he wrote this he was right. Merton however was writing when the news cycle consisted of a morning paper and the evening news cast. Then the local news broadcast was about 15 minutes and the national feed was ½ hour. The home delivered paper could be dispensed with comics and all in under a half an hour. Now six hours is the time frame for contestable and 24 hours maximum for forgettable. We are inundated with media; cable, internet, radio are all pumping information non stop.
My concern is that the blaring noises drown out or ability to clear our minds. If we opt to unplug and tune out we lose hold of the cultural fabric and become irrelevant. If we hold on we become overwhelmed, our attention spans are lessened and our direct one on one interaction with others becomes muddled or lost. Maybe that is why I am drawn to mediation right now. We have to establish a ritual of silence.
Sitting in quiet trying to empty one’s mind is then when real perspective returns. The act of clearing one’s mind allows the clutter to dissolve away to the point of relative importance each piece of that jumble should hold. Let go of the world’s madness for a few minutes each day, don’t be the monkey holding the banana in the empty gourd, trapped by your own inability to let go.
The problem is that we must make time for the quiet. We have to disconnect manually and regularly from the world at a time when our mind is still active. Seeking quiet is not something we should be doing just before bed when we are tired. It can be morning, midday or evening but we must have something left of a spark in us when we sit down to meditate.
We make time for our bodies at gyms and by running and walking. We need to make time for our minds.
What must we do to break through the undifferentiated and uninterpretable noises of our modern life?
Merton has said a grand gesture (his example was a Vietnam protester who immolated himself) while riveting becomes contestable in three days and forgotten in ten. I think in 1965 when he wrote this he was right. Merton however was writing when the news cycle consisted of a morning paper and the evening news cast. Then the local news broadcast was about 15 minutes and the national feed was ½ hour. The home delivered paper could be dispensed with comics and all in under a half an hour. Now six hours is the time frame for contestable and 24 hours maximum for forgettable. We are inundated with media; cable, internet, radio are all pumping information non stop.
My concern is that the blaring noises drown out or ability to clear our minds. If we opt to unplug and tune out we lose hold of the cultural fabric and become irrelevant. If we hold on we become overwhelmed, our attention spans are lessened and our direct one on one interaction with others becomes muddled or lost. Maybe that is why I am drawn to mediation right now. We have to establish a ritual of silence.
Sitting in quiet trying to empty one’s mind is then when real perspective returns. The act of clearing one’s mind allows the clutter to dissolve away to the point of relative importance each piece of that jumble should hold. Let go of the world’s madness for a few minutes each day, don’t be the monkey holding the banana in the empty gourd, trapped by your own inability to let go.
The problem is that we must make time for the quiet. We have to disconnect manually and regularly from the world at a time when our mind is still active. Seeking quiet is not something we should be doing just before bed when we are tired. It can be morning, midday or evening but we must have something left of a spark in us when we sit down to meditate.
We make time for our bodies at gyms and by running and walking. We need to make time for our minds.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Kindness wins
Today’s start played out like this. My younger son Secundus, who is in an advanced English program at the local university, had to be at the university by 8 a.m. My older son contrary to his normal behavior slept in. Having made breakfast and put it on the table, biscuits and condiments, I wanted decaf coffee. None was available at home because I brew Kenyan Roast MAXIMUM caffeine for my wife and oldest son each morning. Primus’s teacher’s view this as a fair alternative to his sleeping through hour one and two.
The oversleeping by Primus derailed the well oiled machine of ritual. Confusion and kafuffle ensued. He was rousted while Secundus was already in the car. Primus was decked in rain gear and sent on his way by foot to the high school. Luckily we live close. I was dropped off at the coffee shop about 14 minutes walk from my office. Wife and Secundus sped off to pick up my son’s mate who is in the class with him and who also needed to be at the U by 8 a.m.
Once inside the coffee shop, that place of rich aromas I ordered my coffee. I added skim milk to this hot brown water. I stepped outside ready for the day. At that moment the rain was beginning to fall somewhat harder. Looking about because I was carrying an unopened umbrella, a brief case and a cup of coffee I placed the coffee on a ledge by the door and commenced to open the umbrella. Right then someone else exited and the vibration caused to coffee to jump off the ledge. As the paper cup hit the ground it exploded spilling hot decaf on my walking shoes. Distracted by free fall of Biggby’s best decaf my focus was on the ground and I missed the oncoming tine of my umbrella. The expanding umbrella poked me in the eye causing me to flinch and almost lose my balance.
Wet with ran and coffee I refolded the umbrella and picked up the empty cup and its now distended lid. I walked back in the store refilled and got a new lid. I walked back out and commenced the walk into my office.
It was only after I crossed the large and busy intersection situated between the coffee shop and the path to my office I realized the cup had been damaged and the lid would not stay on and was not preventing the hot coffee from dripping onto my hand every so often. Youch. Despite wanting desperately to sip some hot coffee for the cold rain had picked up I couldn’t because the lid would pop off and the contents would pour out on my garments. So on I trudged grimacing at each uneven spot on the sidewalk as coffee dripped onto my hand.
By the time I reached work the coffee was cold. Ugh. I threw the cup in the micro warmed it and put it into a real cup I have at my desk.
The only thing that made it all better was opening my e-mail and finding a daily inspirational blurb from my Buddhist magazine. I attach the blurb here. Reading such an affirming piece was like a cosmic kiss on the boo boo that was the day’s start.
During a lecture while I was interpreting for the Dalai Lama, he said in what seemed to me to be broken English, “Kindness is society.” I wasn’t smart enough to think he was saying kindness is society. I thought he meant kindness is important to society; kindness is vital to society; but he was saying that kindness is so important that we cannot have society without it. Society is impossible without it. Thus, kindness IS society; society IS kindness. Without concern for other people it’s impossible to have society.
– Jeffrey Hopkins, "Equality"
No matter the rushing, the spilt coffee and the general aggravation I feel today I have vowed to say please and thank you and to offer an empathetic ear. Kindness wins out over mere aggravation.
The oversleeping by Primus derailed the well oiled machine of ritual. Confusion and kafuffle ensued. He was rousted while Secundus was already in the car. Primus was decked in rain gear and sent on his way by foot to the high school. Luckily we live close. I was dropped off at the coffee shop about 14 minutes walk from my office. Wife and Secundus sped off to pick up my son’s mate who is in the class with him and who also needed to be at the U by 8 a.m.
Once inside the coffee shop, that place of rich aromas I ordered my coffee. I added skim milk to this hot brown water. I stepped outside ready for the day. At that moment the rain was beginning to fall somewhat harder. Looking about because I was carrying an unopened umbrella, a brief case and a cup of coffee I placed the coffee on a ledge by the door and commenced to open the umbrella. Right then someone else exited and the vibration caused to coffee to jump off the ledge. As the paper cup hit the ground it exploded spilling hot decaf on my walking shoes. Distracted by free fall of Biggby’s best decaf my focus was on the ground and I missed the oncoming tine of my umbrella. The expanding umbrella poked me in the eye causing me to flinch and almost lose my balance.
Wet with ran and coffee I refolded the umbrella and picked up the empty cup and its now distended lid. I walked back in the store refilled and got a new lid. I walked back out and commenced the walk into my office.
It was only after I crossed the large and busy intersection situated between the coffee shop and the path to my office I realized the cup had been damaged and the lid would not stay on and was not preventing the hot coffee from dripping onto my hand every so often. Youch. Despite wanting desperately to sip some hot coffee for the cold rain had picked up I couldn’t because the lid would pop off and the contents would pour out on my garments. So on I trudged grimacing at each uneven spot on the sidewalk as coffee dripped onto my hand.
By the time I reached work the coffee was cold. Ugh. I threw the cup in the micro warmed it and put it into a real cup I have at my desk.
The only thing that made it all better was opening my e-mail and finding a daily inspirational blurb from my Buddhist magazine. I attach the blurb here. Reading such an affirming piece was like a cosmic kiss on the boo boo that was the day’s start.
During a lecture while I was interpreting for the Dalai Lama, he said in what seemed to me to be broken English, “Kindness is society.” I wasn’t smart enough to think he was saying kindness is society. I thought he meant kindness is important to society; kindness is vital to society; but he was saying that kindness is so important that we cannot have society without it. Society is impossible without it. Thus, kindness IS society; society IS kindness. Without concern for other people it’s impossible to have society.
– Jeffrey Hopkins, "Equality"
No matter the rushing, the spilt coffee and the general aggravation I feel today I have vowed to say please and thank you and to offer an empathetic ear. Kindness wins out over mere aggravation.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Refreshed/Not Refreshed
My wife was gone for the weekend. We have friends who have a gorgeous and spacious “cabin” on Lake Michigan by Elk Rapids. She went up and met with her female cadre that used to get together once monthly for a “bitches brunch”. This was ergo the “bitches weekend”, their terminology not mine. The weather was perfect and she came back refreshed and invigorated. Ugh. Might I be fighting off some jealousy? Yup. Could envy be involved? Sure.
As for me I was with the kids and it was as you might imagine a battle of will and wits. Secundus had to work on a paper. Being in an advanced English program he has a 3-5 page paper due each week in English. This week his mission was to compare and contrast the behaviors of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with current psycho-medical thought on multiple personality disorders. Such work requires online research. Online research means Secundus was using a computer. Using a computer leads to gaming. Gaming leads to Dad getting apoplectic. Arggh. Did I in my envy mention that my wife was enjoying one of the most beautiful weekends of several recent falls sitting on a beach by a campfire watching the horizon on Lake Michigan. Drinking wine with good friends too.
On Thursday Primus got the word he did not make the hockey team for our local high school. More on this will follow in a subsequent post. There is bitterness involved.
On Friday before my wife left to go eat ambrosia and walk long stretches of beautiful beach I got on the horn and started searching for somewhere Primus could play stick hitting hard rubber biscuit on ice. The local league refused to put a midget team on the ice this year. The cause might have been the dope smoking by several team members last year. Or the brawling amongst ourselves and without teams or maybe it was just the pain in the ass factor of it all.
Having no local teams we had to look elsewhere. Most midget teams are either in Detroit metro or in Grand Rapids. I got lucky in that there is a team in Jackson half the distance to Grand Rapids that needed bodies. From what I saw of them on Saturday they can use a little muscle. Many e-mails and texts followed. Eventually I got another kid to sign on to play who also got cut from our local high school. Thus we will have a plan of transport for alternate weeks.
Primus and I went down to Jackson with the other kid’s family on Saturday night. We watched the last few minutes of their game. Turns out a couple of players used to play in our league but when they realized they wouldn’t make high school they shifted to a less expensive league than our local one. It was good to see some familiar faces.
Sunday was spent waiting to see if the kids got rostered. If you aren’t on the roster you can’t get on the ice. There was a game Sunday and if they were rostered they would have played. They didn’t so we have to wait until Wednesday to hit the ice and it will only be a practice. Such is life. But the waiting and calls and texts burnt up half the day. The other half a day I spent weed whacking and doing winter prep on the exterior of the house. I ache today.
Back to my wife, with her new Iphone 4s she came home refreshed showing me the well shot and quite lovely video of the warm wonderful campfire on Lake Michigan at sunset. She talked about how invigorated she was. She looked at me and said you really do need a night away from the kids. Double Argggh.
Life and nothing but. I need some time away. Triple Arggh.
Okay I am better now.
As for me I was with the kids and it was as you might imagine a battle of will and wits. Secundus had to work on a paper. Being in an advanced English program he has a 3-5 page paper due each week in English. This week his mission was to compare and contrast the behaviors of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with current psycho-medical thought on multiple personality disorders. Such work requires online research. Online research means Secundus was using a computer. Using a computer leads to gaming. Gaming leads to Dad getting apoplectic. Arggh. Did I in my envy mention that my wife was enjoying one of the most beautiful weekends of several recent falls sitting on a beach by a campfire watching the horizon on Lake Michigan. Drinking wine with good friends too.
On Thursday Primus got the word he did not make the hockey team for our local high school. More on this will follow in a subsequent post. There is bitterness involved.
On Friday before my wife left to go eat ambrosia and walk long stretches of beautiful beach I got on the horn and started searching for somewhere Primus could play stick hitting hard rubber biscuit on ice. The local league refused to put a midget team on the ice this year. The cause might have been the dope smoking by several team members last year. Or the brawling amongst ourselves and without teams or maybe it was just the pain in the ass factor of it all.
Having no local teams we had to look elsewhere. Most midget teams are either in Detroit metro or in Grand Rapids. I got lucky in that there is a team in Jackson half the distance to Grand Rapids that needed bodies. From what I saw of them on Saturday they can use a little muscle. Many e-mails and texts followed. Eventually I got another kid to sign on to play who also got cut from our local high school. Thus we will have a plan of transport for alternate weeks.
Primus and I went down to Jackson with the other kid’s family on Saturday night. We watched the last few minutes of their game. Turns out a couple of players used to play in our league but when they realized they wouldn’t make high school they shifted to a less expensive league than our local one. It was good to see some familiar faces.
Sunday was spent waiting to see if the kids got rostered. If you aren’t on the roster you can’t get on the ice. There was a game Sunday and if they were rostered they would have played. They didn’t so we have to wait until Wednesday to hit the ice and it will only be a practice. Such is life. But the waiting and calls and texts burnt up half the day. The other half a day I spent weed whacking and doing winter prep on the exterior of the house. I ache today.
Back to my wife, with her new Iphone 4s she came home refreshed showing me the well shot and quite lovely video of the warm wonderful campfire on Lake Michigan at sunset. She talked about how invigorated she was. She looked at me and said you really do need a night away from the kids. Double Argggh.
Life and nothing but. I need some time away. Triple Arggh.
Okay I am better now.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Sometimes You Have to Let Go and Let the Wheel Throw You Where it May.
I believe that we can dream and that we ought to dream things writ large. I believe that we can try to and in fact ought to act to make those dreams real trying with every fiber of our being to obtain or to make something better.
If we fail after hard work and honest effort we should learn something from our not attaining, not achieving, not finishing. We are sinew, blood and mind for only a short time and some knowledge should be taken from every moment that fate or the fates or God or Gods allow us.
If we succeed let us hope the reward was worth the cost.
If we fail after hard work and honest effort we should learn something from our not attaining, not achieving, not finishing. We are sinew, blood and mind for only a short time and some knowledge should be taken from every moment that fate or the fates or God or Gods allow us.
If we succeed let us hope the reward was worth the cost.
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