My little Portals of Prayer devotional book has prayers printed out for reflection and recitation. Entreaties are set out for each morning and evening of every day in the week. Me, I don’t recite them like the ritualized prayers so enmeshed in the formal liturgy of my church. Lutherans, we bend and kneel on a hard floor reciting “we confess that we have sinned in thought, word and deed... In thy mercy forgive what we have been; help us to amend what we are…” As I mentioned in a prior post the things I read in the morning are the starting point for a meditation.
Today’s prayer opens with the line that the deity knows my every weakness. Continuing on it mentions that because of that weakness the supplicant (i.e., me) will disobey, fail to love, and otherwise be less godly. Today the prayer seems on point. As I am taking my desk today I feel weak, loveless and prone to failure.
Emotionally it has been a rough week. Both children have been buffeted by tribulations at school. My wife’s recovery is slow. My work feels like it is a stone ball, which like Sisyphus, I must push ever upward only to have it roll further back down the hill. When I listen to the news what I hear is all doom and gloom. Even as I type these words I shudder, stretch my shoulders and realize I don’t know if I can even take an appropriate cleansing breath.
The prayer ends with a plea for forgiveness, renewal and strength. Inherent in the closing entreaty is the plea for love and the reassurance of love. When I contemplate love and the love that I know from friends and family things always seem better. Most days I find my way back to the point where balance comes. Let a few hours pass and life will glow again. Weakness is a starting point but the day will lead to something better.
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