Kalamazoo in the meantime

 

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Sitting in the Holidome portion of the Holiday Inn in Kalamazoo, Michigan I have grabbed a little moment from the stream of time to sit down and write. It is in an odd space I am writing in. Outside of my guest room but not in the main area of the recreational zone is a walkway to a roof patio of a faux building. Below the pool and hot tub are filled with kids from a Church of the Brethren outing come up from Indiana for some skiing at a nearby bunny hill. This table is one of those weird beige things made out of recycled milk bottles and tires. Four tables are located on a platform on top of this place that is designed to look like a house with gingerbread siding. Below the patio platform are the workout and game rooms. One takes solitude where it can be found. Look carefully at the picture above you can see my open journal on the polymer table.

Kalamazoo became a destination for Primus and I because the hockey team was set to be in a tournament. We came through the courtesy of strangers that is we begged rides because Secundus had a competing engagement last night. The reason we remain here is because I don’t drive and it will be a little while before my wife can pick me up. Primus and I can down for the first game last night. Well the team lost and we were one and done. The rest of the team went home.

Over the whole season a couple of issues have plagued the team. These kids have talent but they struggle one game and dominate the next. Time and time again we have played with the best in the league and were competitive and even won. But then the next game we just look lost. What I don’t get is the inconsistency. Sometimes it seems like they just forget they are a team, read there is no passing and no communication on the ice. Sometimes it just seems they can’t shoot. As a parent I feel frustration. My guess is that they feel it even more.

Overall the season has been positive. Primus is playing the best hockey of his life. Somewhere this year he found a role on the team. Saying I appreciate what the coach has done for him is an understatement. Coach C and all the coaches have worked with him taking into consideration his autism spectrum disorder. Even with the challenges they have made him a better hockey player.

Our parents have been a good lot too. I appreciate that. Over the years I have seen some teams where the parents divided into camps and there just was no chemistry whatsoever. We have had rocky moments this year but all in all these people have been a good bunch.

Primus is upstairs right now in the room. Glued to his computer he is playing a variety of games online. For the most part when I watch these games they seem innocuous. While I wish he was reading a book this is his weekend. If this is how he has fun so be it. From my perspective a night in a hotel is a good thing some times. You get to watch your children and get a sense of who they are. Last night we ate at the bar. I don’t drink around my kids, hell, I hardly drink anyway. Like I say it is two beers a month whether I need them or not. Sitting there feet on the rail I was cajoling the bartender to change the channel on the flat screen was fun. My son chuckled when a couple of people tongue in cheek asserted the ice dancing had their attention. While he has ASD he gets situation humor sometimes.

Over the course of the past 6-9 months I have seen some growing awareness on his part of the reality of the world. It is little things like his trying to make a joke about how the team did not play well. Moving to a point where he can make a joke about failure is a pretty awesome step. When I asked him what had happened last night he told, “Our sticks were made of Swiss cheese.” I asked if someone on the team, perhaps one of the coaches has said that. He replied, “Nope Dad, it just seemed that there were holes in our sticks because the puck went right through, I mean nobody could control the puck.” Awareness, not obviousness, he is growing and connecting more with the world I live in.

Secundus is at a debate match. Francie is sorting out the when and how of the tournaments details. Hopefully that is somewhere near wrapping up. I just had to go throw down the ‘I am a top level traveler in this chains affinity program” to get a late check out. When I asked for a 2 o’clock check out the clerk first refused based on the fact of the entire hockey tournament crowd. When I mentioned that my card gave me until 4 p.m. to check out she grumbled “That is a service we offer” and marked my screen for a delayed departure. She was not happy.

The phone call just came. Secundus’s team was currently wrapping up the first round. In our phone call my wife told me Secundus was the closer. Per the call he did well, but there was something in the tone of her voice. I am sure there is more to this. Don’t you just hate it when you can tell there is more to the story but you are not going to get it until you are out of the involved party’s earshot?

Travelling is a good thing from time to time. It can just feel good to be away from home. In the old days there would be the fun of watching TV we didn’t get at home. Now we have a moderate deluxe package and we have a better channel lineup than most hotels. Sometimes in midwinter it was great to have an indoor pool. Now we belong to our local community center and we have access to its indoor pool. I guess what makes the happy difference is the disruption of the routine of daily life.

Routines are dangerous things. Starting simply and as a one off thing they can become habits, they can become the way things are done. There used to be a cappuccino place near here. When Primus was 9 and Secundus 7 we slipped out one night for a coffee and an ice tea. 25 minutes round trip and with 15 of those being spent just resting out of the fray it didn’t take long before this trip became a routine. Hideout, respite, whatever it was our time. At $6 a trip it quickly began to add up. The store folded and we have now resorted to making ice tea at home. Every night after dinner I brew a new pot. It may actually be cheaper but it is a routine. Tea brewing, laundry sorting and washing, dishes, bills it is all a routine and most of it is scheduled. TV at 10 p.m. has become the hour of drama and decompression. Being away staying a bed I did not have to make and I will not have to clean can make all the difference in making a week seem good or not good.