Mall Walking

17 February 2020

I am a 63-year-old man with a bunch of maladies.  So, it goes.  Glad to have made it this far.  Trust me I have seen things that would blind you and heard things that would burn off both your ears. (Thank you, Robert Hunter, for that line). The ride has been fun.

After my most recent surgery I lay upon my couch for two months watching TV and eating bon-bons. Yup, you are right following this recovery regimen I gained some weight. Once the pain abated, I notice how bloated and icky I felt.  Clearly, I needed to address this situation. Sound of blaring trumpets here…” I will eat less and exercise more”.

Now mind you, I have a gym membership. I have had this membership for a decade.  Mostly I never use it and I view it to be a charitable donation to the City of East Lansing, the owner of the gym. 

The gym is located in the Hannah Community City. Inside the exercise space are a fair amount of treadmills and some stationary cycles.  Weight machines and ellipticals are also present.  The gym really has the stuff people want when they are working out.

When you are out of shape there is nothing as emotionally awkward as setting a twenty-minute ride on an exercise bicycle at Level 2 while the person next two you, a silver haired lady ten years my senior, gets on the treadmill and runs for twenty minutes.  WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT, DAMMIT. Oh, I am such a miserable slug.

I know, I know, I need to focus on the personal only.  No comparisons with others. My goals have to be realistic to me.  However, there is silent judgment from the more in shape in a gym such as often as not.  Thus, while I go to this gym, it cannot be the first line of exercise for me.

Enter stage right, mall walking.  Both the area malls by me are open by 8:30 am, the earliest time I plan to be there, I mean I retired so I don’t have to get up at 6 am. In reality I think they open at 7 am. Both have comfortable indoor air temperatures. Thus, park close, leave the coat in the car and dash for the door. 

The mall closest to me has a circuit if the stores are closed of just over a mile.  The one further from me has a circuit of about 8 tenths of a mile. Each has its pluses and minuses.

The farther mall has that shorter distance to walk. However, its aisles are wider. Also, there is a coffee shop open at 8 am. The coffee shop at the closer mall opens at 9 am. At the farther mall, the walking population is mostly men my age and above.  This mall is close to a now gone GM plant or two.  Most of the guys in there are clearly GM retirees.  Lots of UAW Local jackets on display.  My guess is that their circuit is the cardiologist recommended mall walk.

The mall nearer to me is longer, this extended distance for a morning walk is a real plus.  However, the closer begins piping in canned music as soon as it opens, the other mall does not play any music until it is officially open.  This closer mall apparently has only one tape for its canned music.  If I hear Call Me Maybe, one more time I am going to kill someone. The crowd is more diverse in terms of age, race and ability.  There are two women who must be training for a speed walking competition.  They are then when I get there.  They are there when I leave.  They always lap me twice while I am walking.

Given the weather here in Michigan I will continue walking these malls alternating between them every other day.  I like to walk.  I like to get exercise. I want to survive.

Nota bene, my Apple Watch is the bane of these walks.  If I walk the closer mall, I can sometimes complete my 30 minutes of exercise. In actuality I do complete my exercise.  My pulse rate is up, I walk 1.3 miles minimum and I walk 30 minutes minimum.  If I have my watch with its face on the palm side of my wrist/hand, have the watch band on the fifth notch and turn the blue tooth on/off/on just before I start my walk, I will get credit for my walk.  Mostly. If I don’t do all these things, I may get some credit, or all the credit or none of the credit. Nothing pisses me off more than getting to the end of a walk at 3 mile plus per hour and finding out I have been given only 2 minutes out of 30 minutes of exercise the watch demands of me. GRRR. No matter what the watch does I will keep mall walking, it is healthy and I enjoy it.

But back to the gym.  Both my sons need to lose weight.  In order to make sure they are getting some cardio, no matter what I did earlier in the day at the mall, I go to the gym for about 30 minutes each night.  One or the other comes along to watch over me, but they exercise as I pedal away on the stationary bike.  What is the down side for me?  Nothing. I do believe at this pace I will be ready for the hills of Lisboa next month.