Of late I have been a bit lost.  I have had some pains that are out of the
ordinary and they concern me.  Today I
will give the relevant doctor a call.  Also,
I had a growth on my ear that needed to be removed.  It was beginning to look like I had a small
toe growing out of the top of my ear. A numbing agent and a few snips and now I
look like a Mike Tyson chew toy. Getting old blows.
Just the other day I saw a movie just because of my current fascination
with Portugal.  The film was called Night Train to Lisbon; it is a languidly
paced and beautiful movie.  Jeremy Irons acts
a solid part depicting an adult at the crossroads between the long road behind
and the short road ahead. Having seen the movie, I picked up the book.  Same story, sort of.  The book tells the tale from a very different
narrative perspective.  
The book is a meditation by a person who believes in nothing
beyond this life on personal identity and ethics.  Some parts of the narrative, large parts of
the book are purportedly drawn from the journal of a dead man, wax
redundant.  But some parts are so spot on
to what I am feeling this day, two months before I turn 62.  What if I could take back those eight words I
said 25 years ago.  What if I had not been
smoking the night before the PSAT.  What
if ….and more importantly what next?
In the book the main character seems to be heading for a new
life, ready to create a new narrative with the time he has left after many years
of a highly regimented existence.  A new
narrative, yes that is what I am hoping for. 
Mind you, I am not counting on it, but I am hoping for it.  Let me walk out without fear as I face my
final years.
 
 
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