Change Comes to Even Old Dogs

“Life is change, how it differs from the rocks…” an old Jefferson Airplane lyric best heard toasted.

 

Two things.  First, I got an Amazon Fire HD 8.  This is a far cheaper device that the iPad, but it does what I want. The Fire plays Amazon Prime, it plays Netflix and it allows me to download books via Hoopla.  I have read two novels One was the second book in a detective crime series (yes it was trash) and the other Night Train to Lisbon.  Night Train had moments that so paralleled my life that I don’t think I could give a fair review of it. It was philosophical.  It was a travelogue.  It was a novel of intrigue.  At times the philosophical parts waxed too esoteric but the core issues of self as distinct from the world and what to do with the remaining years of one’s life were well done.  Who knew it would take an e-reader to reengage me with the passion I have for literature, albeit some it quite trashy.  Just so you know I have downloaded Swann’s Way to see if a time limit will force me to finish it.

The second thing is that my office has completely redone how my work is done.  Our move to total electronic filing, reviewing and transmission of Orders is taking some getting used to.  Not a lick of paper is supposed to come in front of me, just electronic representations in PDF form.  I find this somewhat of a pain.  Often during a hearing, I have to discuss little details from papers the Petitioners have sent in.  this means I must flip back and forth between electronic documents that I must hold open on my desktop.  A cluttered desktop is a pain. I think I will adjust over time, we shall see.  The learning curve is a pain in the tail however.

 

The Night Train to Tomorrow

Of late I have been a bit lost.  I have had some pains that are out of the ordinary and they concern me.  Today I will give the relevant doctor a call.  Also, I had a growth on my ear that needed to be removed.  It was beginning to look like I had a small toe growing out of the top of my ear. A numbing agent and a few snips and now I look like a Mike Tyson chew toy. Getting old blows.

 

Just the other day I saw a movie just because of my current fascination with Portugal.  The film was called Night Train to Lisbon; it is a languidly paced and beautiful movie.  Jeremy Irons acts a solid part depicting an adult at the crossroads between the long road behind and the short road ahead. Having seen the movie, I picked up the book.  Same story, sort of.  The book tells the tale from a very different narrative perspective. 

 

The book is a meditation by a person who believes in nothing beyond this life on personal identity and ethics.  Some parts of the narrative, large parts of the book are purportedly drawn from the journal of a dead man, wax redundant.  But some parts are so spot on to what I am feeling this day, two months before I turn 62.  What if I could take back those eight words I said 25 years ago.  What if I had not been smoking the night before the PSAT.  What if ….and more importantly what next?

 

In the book the main character seems to be heading for a new life, ready to create a new narrative with the time he has left after many years of a highly regimented existence.  A new narrative, yes that is what I am hoping for.  Mind you, I am not counting on it, but I am hoping for it.  Let me walk out without fear as I face my final years.