Across the Border

Friday, February 15, 2013

The other day I was at what remains of our local book store. It used to be one of those places that were packed with densely arranged shelves of hardbacks. On one side it had ten rows of CDs crammed against the back wall. Now there are there rows of CDs, there are a larger number of shelves of lavender hand soaps and the like and the area between the shelves of books is much, much broader. A full quarter of the store is devoted to used book and CD sales. Amazon has changed our world and disturbed a place I loved. More than a library, friendlier than a bar, this place was where I went to let the tangles of my mind unravel. It is clear it won’t be around much longer.



As I was in the store I found an old CD by Emmylou Harris and Linda Ronstadt. Hey with those voices how could I go wrong so I picked it up. $5.00 for two of the greatest female voices I know really seemed quite fair.



Upon listening to the disc I realized I did not get burned but it wasn’t a true treasure either. There are several songs that are merely meh. But a couple of them really work to create a visual and mental space. The version they do of Bruce Springsteen’s Borderline is very, very nice. The first part of the song goes like this:



Tonight my bag is packed

Tomorrow I'll walk these tracks

That will lead me across the border

Tomorrow my love and I

Will sleep 'neath auburn skies

Somewhere across the border



We'll leave behind my dear

The pain and sadness we found here

And we'll drink from the Brazos muddy waters

Where the sky grows gray and wide

We'll meet on the other side

There across the border



For me you'll build a house

High up on a grassy hill

Somewhere across the border

Where pain and memory

Pain and memory have been stilled

There across the border



This song has often left me disquieted. As I hear it I often think of my failures and missteps in life. My approach now is to accept these disappointments and blunders and to try to learn from them. It doesn’t mean the pain isn’t real or that it will every go away. The line in this song about crossing a “border” and beginning again is beautiful but it is a fairytale. The song’s author knows it but the singer whose voice the author has penned does not.



I have struggled with how to end this piece but I keep coming back to acceptance. What is what is and we must be open to it all. Here is a quote that I think wraps what I was trying to say up in a nutshell.



“The practice of lovingkindness is, at a certain level, the fruition of all we work toward in our meditation. It relies on our ability to open continuously to the truth of our actual experience, not cutting off the painful parts, and not trying to pretend things are other than they are. Just as spiritual growth grinds to a halt when we indulge our tendency to grasp and cling, the virtue of lovingkindness can’t thrive in an environment that is bound to desire or to getting our expectations met.”



- Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein