Day 23 of 365 (Things that Count as Victories)

When you have lived 18 years in the conflicting world of ADHD and ASD sometimes life stresses you to the point where your last nerve is strained to the breaking point. I think I am paying for that at this time, more on that at a latter date.

Storm and silence, Robin Williams and the Man in the Long Black Coat, yeah it is kinda like that.

However there are victories, small victories, but victories none the less. Over the past week I have been sending my ASD son who now resides on campus at the university little notes. Mostly these were YouTube clips of a big hockey fight between Vancouver and Calgary. When he played hockey my son was not a stranger to fights.

Despite these little notes I was not getting any information in return. Finally I sent the following note: My dear son, Are you doing okay? I've been dropping you little emails to try and pique your interest in responding to me. Where stand the grades so far? Are your classes enjoyable? How is your blog? Mom says she hasn't seen any drafts of your postings. Nag. Nag. Nag. Dad PS, Your mother inquired about whether you were getting enough to eat. I laughed.

What did I get in response? Well about a five paragraph letter. I almost fell off my chair. In all my years of dealing with his ASD writing has been one of the biggest missing pieces. He really has struggled to draft written reports. But this letter’s grammar was fine, the paragraphs were artfully crafted and there was substance. He spoke of his grades, what his projects were and that he would be coming home for one night this weekend. I showed the correspondence to my wife.

We were both flabbergasted.

We cogitated on whether it might have been ghost written by a friend or a cohort. In the end we ruled that out. Why? Well because he would have had to ask someone for help. While progress has been made on the interpersonal contact level over the years I don’t think we have made that much progress.

It is said Winston Churchill did not speak until he was seven. And when he spoke he spoke in a mature full sentence requesting a breakfast condiment. The apocryphal story goes that when questioned about why he didn’t speak his response was, “Well until now everything around here was fine and satisfactory.” Maybe the same was true until now for my son.