Day 15 of 365 (Candyland as a Wound of Inequity)

Last night I went to a PTA meeting in my ex officio capacity; I wasn’t a parent but a representation of the district. The vast part of the meeting was the routine stuff of these gatherings. Teacher Smith request $300 to purchase special software to make the 3 D shop equipment work better, and the district schedule would not allow for the purchase for another 1 ½ years. Teachers Jones and Brown wanted money to take the STEM club to go see a lecture on opportunities for women in engineering. 

One request stood out to me as odd and I am wondering why nobody else in the room questioned it. As an ex officio member I am simply reporting what the school board is doing, taking back questions to the board and going harrumph if there is a proposed action that is illegal or unethical. As to the substance of everything else I sit silent unless I am asked a direct question. 

I am the representative of the board to the middle school. This is the place where students are truly squirrels as we would call them in my day or hot messes would be current to about five years ago. Raging hormones combined with a wide age range and different rates of physical and emotional maturity make this place a caldron of angst, cliques and bullying. I sort of digress. 

The middle school holds four “activity nights” a year. These have traditionally involved a DJ, pop and pizza and 150 -200 kids just standing around. The mother in question, new to the school and to the district has proposed to make the last activity night a “more formal kind of thing” for just the departing eight graders. Everyone when this was broached at the last meeting in December thought this might be nice. 

Last night she brought her mock-ups and planning list. Her theme was “Candyland” and in her photos there were props of balloon bridges and floral arrangements made of candy (suckers mostly). Speaking she stated she envisioned a photographer. She talked about how parents would want and cherish these shots. The kids in her mockup were wearing long dresses and what the guy had on looked like a tux. 

I almost swallowed my tongue. I did not speak. Let me explain the problems that I see with this. One, we are an economically diverse district and this proposal for what amounts to an eight grade prom will whether it is emphasized or not highlight economic disparity. Sure kids who have no money will be able to attend by quietly approaching office staff for a free ticket but they will not be able to dress to the nines. Thus right there the injuries of class will be on display from the get go of the event. They will be apparent in both the having to ask for economic assistance to go and the visible class distinction shown by clothing. Second it is kowtowing to a sexualization of our kids at way, way too early a moment. Third what about the outliers in the population? Whereas boys who are awkward and might not be in the middle population (okay I always look at the kids with social disorders) but who would come for pizza and to stand around if there was just a DJ won’t come to a more dressy (as it is being pitched but read close to formal) dance. They especially won’t come it the freaking’ theme is Candyland. 

I just sat there wondering what the hell is with you people? Don’t you get the implication of what you are buying into? It was there the light went on in my head. The parents at these board meetings are a. primarily the parents of girls and b. not as impacted by the costs of such an event. Thus the inherent exclusionary nature just didn’t ring a bell for them. The principal while not killing the idea, stated clearly that she would not support any entry fee that was greater than five dollars. 

I have to think on this. I may reach out to the principal and privately voice my concerns.