That word can hang in space, challenging, haunting, and tinged with an awkward emotional patina. Many people may hear the word and think oh it is just another disorder de jour. It isn’t. Even the professional community has a rough time handling what to say about and how to approach Aspergers. With the growing number of diagnoses it is clear that something is going on. It is also clear that Aspergers is something both sides of the coin, those with the status and those without are going to have to deal with for a long, long time.
Aspergers is a condition that defines so much of what my family life is about. Even with Primus, the oldest and the one with the diagnoses, out of the house at university Aspergers touches us every day. So much of what occurs is dictated by the unique attributes of the status and the ripples stirred up and left from Primus continuing passage through our lives. When I wrote the other day (and yes I know I sounded maudlin and depressed because I was) we had been confronted (again) with one of those sandpaper areas of conflict between neurotypical life and Aspergers.
Today I can take a breath. The challenges will continue. There is no easy fix to that interface. There is no quick fix. Fix is not the right word really. It is more of a negotiation. It is more of a creation of a script that allows Microsoft software to work on Apple computers.
Funny thing is that several years ago I had written about how positive the program Parenthood had been in its depiction of Aspergers. Max Braverman as a character was a weekly illustration to the world of what Aspergers is and isn’t and what family life with Aspergers is and isn’t.
I had stopped watching the show for a time because one particular plot line had lost my interest. Telling the tale of one particular daughter’s romance issues seemed too contrived for me and the spooky allure of Person of Interest (one of my top 10 desert island list of TV shows) pulled me away. Person of Interest has changed days and time slots and the show that has filled its slot has not caught my attention so I have started watching Parenthood again.
Damn. Now the writers are developing an adult character with the status. Ray Romano as an adult with Aspergers is a brilliant casting choice. His physical looks, his mannerisms, he dialog delivery they are all just spot on. There is no condescension in the tone of the teleplay. There is a real striving for a true character.
Last night there were conflicts for both Ray and for Max. To me it seemed a perfect choice to be using a photographer as a person with Aspergers who could function in the adult world. The precision work required in high end photography and the solitary component of the artistic element were the right place for that character.
If you have never seen the show, or if you haven’t a clue as to what I mean when I talk about the sandpaper interaction between Aspergers and the neurotypical world watch the next couple of episodes. It doesn’t matter that you haven’t followed the series for the last five years. You can jump in at any moment and the story lines are universal. See what more and more of American families have to adjust to.
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