A Prelude to the Coldest Silence Ever

A disagreement? Is it something more? A lapse of memory perhaps?

He says he last had a drink three years ago.

She says he last had a beer at Freddy's picnic at the lake last summer. Having said this under oath she looks imploringly for a sign. First she glances at me and then at her "husband". Even their marital status isn't clear to me from the testimony so far. There might be a glitch due to a divorce that wasn't done right.

Her “husband” shifts in his chair and she leans slightly forward and twists her head in his direction. They are both still wearing their coats because it is cold in her. No tensing of muscles can be seen but her hands open and tip slightly upward in question. She doesn't know the rules. At this point I offer the admonition that there will be no crosstalk.

In response his feet shift and the tips of his work boots form the base of a v. He tips his head toward her and smiles. He smiles because he knows I am watching him and his every move. I look carefully. Does he twitch, does he sweat, does he sigh, grunt or do his shoulders tense. I look very closely at the edges of his smile does it looked forcibly stretched? Oh yeah. If his facial muscles were contorting under any more pressure they would rip apart. Still, he smiles.

A few more questions get asked about whether he had just one beer at the picnic and does she remember what kind of beer was it? She realizing that once this door has been opened it can't be closed by saying she might be mistaken. Maybe it was a Sharp's or O’Doul’s? But it really does not matter what it or even if it was just one. She has dropped to almost a whisper now and she says they didn't stay long at Freddy's cause his wife is such a pain. She just thinks she is too good ya know?

I thank her when the questions are done and ask her to take a seat in the lobby.

His arms are crossed now and he has slumped in the chair. His feet no longer form a v. Now his crotch is the base of the v with his legs rigid and straight and his feet are sitting about two and half to three feet apart. He will not make eye contact with me for the rest of this meeting. His eyes are focused at the center of my desk where his papers lie. Lie clearly has a double meaning here. Is he going to "man up" and admit he hasn't really stopped drinking? This is a long shot.

What he does is what most men in this situation do he disparagers her. "She doesn't know what she is talking about dammit. There were a lot of people there that day. I had a diet Pepsi and it was sitting on the table next to Floyd Parnell’s beer. It wasn't mine." She made a mistake. Look at the other stuff it all says I am not drinking.

Look if I don't get my license back my job is gone. They have kept me on for this year because I promised I would be able to drive right after this hearing. Look she has fibromyalgia and if I don't work we don't have coverage. Can't you see how important this is for me? Man I really, really don't drink."

No question this is important to him, the desperation shows on his face. I really, really believe bad will come down on him if he doesn't get his ticket to operate some vehicle. But he has been down this road too many times before. I know I have seen his record. If in the face of this he couldn't even get his story straight with his "wife" how is he going to control anything, especially his personal demon of a habit of sucking down that 12 pack of beer per day. How’s he going to address his lack of control that has given him two DWIs, a pot possession charge and four days in jail for turfing the town square with is friend Gentleman Jack?

Politely I ask the last question "Is there anything else you would like me to know?" He draws his knees up and with his head bent he says "No." Most people at least thank me for giving them the time to plead their case. Odds were it wouldn’t happen this time and it didn’t.

As he has left the room I organize the papers on my desk into a neat stack and turn to my computer and keyboard. I begin to type and then I stop. Whenever one of these proceedings has ended like this I wonder what the ride home is going to be like, fire and fury or long, long, stony cold silence.