Day 48 of 365 (What Has Love Got to Do With It

I often seek wisdom in short writings found in books that have titles like “A Year with Zen”. Christian or Zen, the source doesn’t matter because the words as they flow together hold some similarities.

One of the main areas where both groups of writers of these little volumes dwell is the concept of getting to truth. Each of the different sects best and brightest spend lots of time contemplating their respective faiths’ desire to cut through subterfuge and subtext. A longing is present for a path to arrive at truth. What the truth is that they seek varies but path of each requires a clarified vision. For Saul the scales fell away and he became Paul. For the Zen practitioner the bindings of the “this world” are loosened through practice/meditation. The emptying of the grocery bag of the mind and the ditching of the daily list may punch a hole through the mental garbage through which we may pass on the way to truth.

 One of the writers I go to was talking in the section I was reading today about love. She noted that romantic love is really not a construct of Zen. Romantic love is illusion; it is in many ways an impediment to reaching truth. She dances around the issue that passion. The author is clear she feels romantic love is dangerous by saying that when the hormones die off the illusion of our partner, an illusion that we have created, will fall away leaving us disappointed. Clearly there is some wisdom in these words or we wouldn’t have a current 53% divorce rate. (Interesting side note the raw data for spousal murder is low and doesn’t impact this relationship termination statistic. One spouse killing the other totals about 700 a year. Only 70 of these are premeditated.)

 When I first read this Zen bit I struggled with how the author phrased her stance regarding love. She almost said that love does not exist. But I don’t think that is what she meant. My best guess is that she is saying real love is possible but it has to be something based in a genuineness and not in some imperfect idealization of others. You know we don’t fill the holes in who we are by patching the empty spaces with the good qualities we attribute to others. What love is requires awareness, acceptance, understanding and knowledge of self.

 If I don’t’ know me how can I love you? I think that is it.
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