Monday, August 29, 2011

Can't Sell You No Beer

The weekend flew by. On Friday night there was a high school football game for my community. Both my children are now in high school. Secundus is in the band. His membership in this organization has motivated my attendance at the mini war. Our team won. Under the lights last Friday it was a great moment for the blue and white colors of the uniforms. We beat the read and black (I think).

During the time I was at the game I spoke to about thirty people. I saw the head of the school district, the principal, the vice principal, the dean of students, the head of the band boosters, the school districts bond counsel, a former client from my days in private practice, the athletic director, another former client, a political activist I worked with on John Kerry’s campaign and a fellow school board member. As you might guess I did not really see the game.

3/4ths of my time was spent talking about the need for/how to get money to build the school new buildings. Some of the time was spent talking about band events like the party afterward. Secundus went. He loved it. Some of the time was spent on the fact that the thug who was long term suspended last use for a interaction with a law enforcement officer and who was banned from school activities was present. Most of the time I found myself talking to any person that took a moment to grab my arm and bend my ear.

It was a great thing, okay a good thing that our laundry prevailed this time. But it is in moments like these that you figure out how small a world it is. My first old client was at the game because he played college football with the coach of our team. The bond counsel was at the game because her daughter plays in the band with my son. The same was true of the second old client. The political activist is married to the bond counsel. Etc, etc.

There is an old song by James McMurtry called small town and the lyrics are apropos.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Blue Sky Meditation

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

What do I need is the question Thomas Merton asked of me this morning as I picked up his book instead of the Zen one. A simple question this one like the questions of most sincere seekers has no ready pat answer. The question was posed on a beautiful Kentucky morning as the monk wrote in his personal journal.

Merton’s answer, at least on that day as he wrote long hand into his moleskin or spiral bound there in his hermitage was, “If necessary I can get by with plenty of mornings like this. Seriously, I need silence, though and solitude to enter into myself and see and touch reality, to live a contemplative life.”

I can agree with some of what he has said. The air today right now is 63 degrees F, the air is pale blue and absolutely free of clouds and there is no humidity anywhere. As I look up I am filled with the thoughts I had as a young boy thinking of travelling great distances in spaceships and of kite flying and of going swimming to “waste’ an afternoon. I can get by with a morning like this. It is not enough my spirit wants something more but there is value to being here/being now in a day like this. We don’t get many like this in our lives now do we?

Staring into the pale blue morning sky is a Zen meditation in itself. It is also a prayer to an almighty God in his goodness giving thanks for all this is right with this world. It is an act of openness to possibilities that lie outside of my self.

One of my struggles with Merton is a thin line that I think exists in the realms of those who would live apart from the “world”. It is the divide between solitude to clear away the clutter of the world and allow us to focus on the core essential aspects of being or of the divine and solitude that becomes self absorption taken to its ultimate narcissistic conclusion. Don’t get me wrong I don’t think Merton crossed that line but pulling back from the world can easily result in the world becoming the boundaries of your own ego.

Like Merton I want solitude so that I may have a time to meditate, to think about the broader aspects of life and its meaning. I must guard against misdirection and complacency. I don’t want those times I find solitude to create my own little world. Sitting on a stoop, surrounded by a cacophony of sounds, staring into a blue sky with an open soul beats sitting on a mat in a dimly lit room where I am trying to clear my mind but instead refocusing again on me and my issues.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Monday, August 08, 2011


No illusion, no deception, I remain aware of all the wrongs I have done. In moments of meditation all my masks must fall away with a noisy clattering sound. These masks are of odd material some hard some pliable but all have been constructed with years and years of choices. As a result of the accretion of poor choices made over time they have become quite heavy.

It is in the solitude of meditation that I strip away the masks, the grinding burdensome weight of the years. Silence alone with your soul does not tolerate lies. Quiet contemplation is akin to walking with a pebble in you shoe. You cannot countenance the irritant long and so it must be cast out. You stop, you consciously search for what is wrong and then you throw the pebble away. To take a few moments each day to sit quietly emptying your mind is to cast out the pebbles that stop us from being fully empowered, fully away, fully in acceptance.