I find it easier to write letters instead of long detailed
stories or papers. Most of the writing I do any more is for conversations
between two or three people. These are
people that I have stayed in contact with over the decades. Once, every now and
then, a new correspondent arises.
When I have drafted a letter, I frequently grasp the guts of
what I set out and retool it to become a blog post like this one. As I have
been engaging a friend on the topic of life with God I have gone running back
to a philosophy texts. I have landed on
a new book. Right now, I am reading Blackburn's book called The Big Questions.
In the section I am looking at he is working through what philosophy thinks
about consciousness.
At the end of the 19th century, based on Descartes comments
there were philosophers who thought our mental nature constituted the ghost in
the machine. Our hands, eyes, etc., transmitted information the material brain
which then relayed the information to our spirit, soul, ghost, whatever and
then it relayed back to the body what to do. This is dualism at its most
mystic/religious. What we mentally conceive of as who we are, our personality,
our morality these philosophers said was to be found outside of corporeal being
in an unknowable ethereal essence.
If there is no God or god or divine or spiritual river than this
is nonsense. The question then becomes where do we draw any conception of right
and wrong from? Is morality relative? Is morality a farce?
When you are looking up at those stars it is scary to go
down these rabbit holes of thought. We want there to be very clearly defined
right and wrong. We want existence to be defined and knowable. But we face so
many examples of dubiously defined wrong, say Jean Valjean and the stolen
loaves of bread taken for the starving children. How do we come to a base for a
moral code without having to create a god to set the ultimate rules in place?
You know those ultimate rules; do not steal, do not kill, do not fuck somebody
else’s partner.
Moving beyond right and wrong the real frightening part is
that we are merely an aggregation of molecules bound together for a very short
period on the cosmic scale, that in span of eternal space and time we have no
meaning whatsoever. Why is there life, why do we live if there is no purpose?
If humanity is merely a fungus on a spare rock in the universe why do we
struggle and strive, why is that force to accomplish something so strong within
us.
I don’t know the answers to these questions and sometimes I
feel so lost. Don’t read this to be defeatist or implying a sense of depression
because neither is accurate. Up until my last breath I will keep trying to
figure this stuff out. I swear.
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