Day 73 of 365 (Justice's Cost)

Truth and justice are elusive things when viewed through human eyes.

Sometimes we are required to act in the course of our duties in ways where the rule of law must be served. We take concrete actions that impact other human lives in ways quite large and possibly life changing. On balance these acts are for the greater good and are consistent with both precedent and the rule of law. We must take these actions for there is no choice under the law.

Still, after doing what must be done there is a lingering sense that the acts we have carried out have failed to meet a standard that is above the laws of humankind, that somehow the moral and humane thing has been missed. Somehow something tugs at the strings of your soul leaving a feeling that the true aim of justice has been thwarted. An unease with final acts, a deep sense of questioning as to what is right and what is wrong this is the burden a person who sits in judgment accepts.

It is a solitary thing. The emotions that roil and the disquiet that remains after a particularly tough call cannot be shared. The intellectual unrest and the emotional turmoil aren’t really amenable to meaningfully conversational distribution. You can’t talk it out and away. And so we who do these things accept that we must carry some of the darkness of the world within us.

Public service requires that we act for the public good. Citizenship requires we sacrifice. We all need to be engaged in the governance of our commonwealth but we must remember that engagement does not come for free.